A wedding requires months of rigorous planning, arranging and stress. The bride and the groom have a lot on their plate, and they appreciate every last piece of help they can get. An important task is choosing a maid of honor, and make no mistake – brides expect a load to be taken off their shoulders, and the maid of honor to accept her duties. But if you are given this important role, and you want to outshine expectations and truly be the best friend a bride can ask for, there are a few things you need to take care of:
Be the emotional support
The line between sweet love and tough love is very thin, and the maid of honor needs to know how to walk it perfectly. You probably know the bride better than anybody else in the world, and when she gets overwhelmed, you need to know when she needs a shoulder to cry on, or a big-girls-don’t-cry talk. Be compassionate and understanding, but also be there to support your bride when she feels like giving up. Sometimes, this will mean dragging her to a cake tasting appointment she’s been putting off for months, and other times, grabbing the wedding magazines out of her hands and taking her out for a fun night in the town.
Take on some of her tasks
If the bride is smart, she will choose a maid of honor who is capable and organized enough that she can handle some of the many tasks that need to be done. You should (whenever you can) be accompanying the bride to appointments and fittings, always giving your honest opinion, but you should also do some tasks yourself. For example, you can look through the gorgeous wedding invitations online, make a selection and then let the bride decide which ones she wants. Since you’ll be so closely involved in the wedding itself, you probably won’t choose something that doesn’t fit the theme.
The leader of the bridesmaids
Your first task as a maid of honor: make sure none of the other bridesmaids feel resentful towards you or the bride. Talk to them and make sure everyone’s on the same page. If you know that some of the bridesmaids want to be involved in parts of the planning, or if one of them is an expert in, for example, cake decorating, then include them in that task. You’ll also be in charge of throwing the best bridal shower of the millennia, so get creative. Just like you are the bride’s right hand, the selected girl gang should be yours. You also need to be there for them if one of them needs you, just like they will be there for you.
On the wedding day
You wake up, maybe in the same room as the bride, and you know that there is a hell of a day in front of you. First rule: let the bride sleep. You probably stayed up late the night before, and she needs it. Wake up before her, make some light breakfast and get everything ready. Don’t leave her side from the moment she wakes up, unless you feel like she needs some time alone. Make sure that the hair and makeup team gets there on time and that the bridesmaids are there with champagne in their hands. Hold her bouquet while she is saying her vows, and the groom’s ring until she’s ready to give it to him. During the ceremony deliver the speech of a lifetime, and when the music comes on, be the one keeping the energy up on the dance floor. And if there are any unforeseen circumstances that arise during the wedding itself, they’re your responsibility, so be prepared!
In the end, the predominant feeling should be exactly the one that the name states: honor. This will cement your friendship with the bride for the rest of your lives, and what a beautiful way to do so. It is a sign that the bride trusts you, respects your opinion and wants you by her side as she is taking steps towards a completely new life.